Tips for Parents

Tips for the visiting parent
Being with your children in the presence of someone else may be uncomfortable for you, at least in the beginning. You probably have many questions and concerns, and that is perfectly understandable. During tough times you may want to talk to a mental health professional or find a support group to help you with your feelings. Do your best to focus on your relationship with your children. Your patience and commitment are important during this time.

Here are some suggestions that might be helpful to you:

 

• Read the court order.

• Arrive and depart on time.

• Avoid discussing the court case or terms of the visit with your children.

• Avoid quizzing your children about the other parent’s activities and relationships.

• Avoid making your children messengers to the other parent.

• Say brief and positive good-byes to your children when the visit is over.

 

Tips for the custodial parent
Supervised visitation can also be a challenge for you. Typically you have been taking care of your children’s everyday needs and have a routine for yourself and your family. Supervised visitation can sometimes feel like 1 more responsibility. Of course, you also have concerns and questions about the visits and how they will affect your children. This is understandable. In difficult times you may also want to talk to a mental health professional or find a support group where you can talk about your feelings.

Here are a few suggestions that might help you in the process:

 

• Read the court order.

• Explain to your children where and when the visits will take place.

• Have your children ready with anything they will need during the visits.

• Arrive on time to drop off and pick up your children.

• Reassure your children that you support them in having a pleasant visit.

• Avoid quizzing your children about the visit.

• Avoid making your children messengers to the other parent.

 

Tips for both parents
If you need to change the visitation schedule, the provider cannot do that for you. You will need to ask the court to change the visitation order. To assist you in filing the proper paperwork with the court, contact your lawyer or the family law facilitator in your court.

You may also ask Family Court Services to assist if both parents are willing to meet with a mediator. A court mediator can assist you in reaching an agreement that changes the visitation schedule. Your agreement can then be filed in court and become an order. Call your Family Court Services office to schedule an appointment.

Supervised visitation can be difficult and uncomfortable at times. Often there are hurt and angry feelings toward the other parent. It may also seem impossible to have a positive attitude about supervised visitation. Remember that both of you care about your children and that children benefit from having 2 parents in their lives whenever possible.